April Fools 2004
Ah, what better way to get out of the doldrums of winter and acclimate to the heady wonders of spring but with tomfoolery and shenanigans? April Fools is a special time of year, and Spicy's crew made sure to appreciate this fact.
It started off simply enough the night before with signs about the local dorms proclaiming that the bathrooms were closed for repairs for the next several days (our RA, Travis, actually tried two bathrooms before figuring this one out) and posted advertisements for free (!) used condoms.
Tony: The key to the bathroom signs is that the bathroom closest to us has had the door rigged so that it doesn't close all the way and you don't need a key to open it. When you put a sign on the door saying "Attention Residents: Restroom closed for repairs" with a fancy border AND fix the door so that it is locked again, then you start fooling people. Travis fell for this one quite nicely.
Dave: Greg and myself spent a good 15 minutes walking all over god damn hayden east and west placing those things on all the bathroom doors. Here's where high school comes in handy... 2 buildings, 3 levels each, and 2 bathrooms on eacn floor, equals 13 signs... Anyways, to make a not so long story even longer, we fooled the crap out of our own R.A., and even made him walk all the way back to his room to grab his keys to open the door. Har har Travis.
Then things got a tad more ambitious with an advertising campaign for a rather fictitious concert featuring Michelle Branch and the Format.
Oh my gawd! I LOVE Michelle Branch!
We posted these fellows in a wide variety of locales, hoping to attract a bit of a crowd. Unfortunately, there was actually something going down at the posted location at the same time, so when we went to check we were unable to properly ascertain what the response to this prank was.
Tony: This poster thing was not as quick and easy as Ty makes it seem. Dave made 50 copies of the poster and spent over an hour with Ty and Greg putting them up all over campus. Later, between 3 and 4 let's say, Dave and I finished the job. Hoping for our 15 minutes of fame we put up a healthy amount around the State Press HQ hoping we might get a story of some sort. Alas, most of the posters were removed sometime after we put them up so our brilliant scheme was largely unknown.
Dave: I heard rumors that the two of them were going to do a duet!!! This one took a lot of work, and unfortunately we really don't know what the turn out was, if any that is... But it was a lot of fun riding around campus in the wee hours of the morning, so there were pluses!
Greg has to take a dump horribly, but he grits his teeth through the pain and continues wrapping. Top notch, lad!
Dave wraps away
Around four o'clock April 1st, we set about the real deal. 1500 feet of saran wrap was brought out, and our RA's building was thoroughly wrapped to ensure that he stayed crispy fresh for April Fools. Unfortunately, another denizen of the dormitories woke up and ran into the mess while attempting to exit his room without us knowing, and it was torn down by his door.
Tony: When Jameson started ripping down the saran wrap we all ran of course. The problem was that I was wearing my awesome Grandpa Slippers which flew off as soon as I started moving. When I came back for them later I only found one, the other was lost. After a search Dave found the other, somehow it had found its way into a tree.
Dave: This was by far the coolest thing of the night, the saran wrap wall was gorgeous, we had gotten around the building about 8 times. So we still had around 700 feet left. Someone's car is going to get it sooner or later!! Har har Art!
Shortly thereafter we were wrapping the remnants of the saran wrap about the stairs and got nailed by an RA who informed us that we'd been called in on (evidently some people lack the ability to properly appreciate April Fools). We patiently await write-up forms proclaiming our citation for saran wrapping a dormitory, but as of yet we've only had our massive ball of saran wrap returned to us, so perhaps we'll be spared that honor. (UPDATE: Disciplinary Action has taken place)
Tony: The bad thing about getting written up, besides getting written up, is that I was written up with my own pen on my own notebook. Since the RA got a wake up call at 4:45 he wasn't really thinking clearly and had come penless and paperless and had to ask us, the no-do-gooders, to borrow one.
Dave: Yeah he fuckin' used our own goddamn pen!
After that rather busy day, it was time to get ready to pass out. Of course, on this most special of days it took a couple hours to properly prepare for the occasion.
The pass out looks empty, so very empty.
Beds awaiting transportation
After disassembling the beds, moving them into the bangin' room, and reassembling them in the hallway, we lugged each totem of pass out to the luxurious sands of the complex's volleyball court. Luckily, friendly neighbor Jeff (of bike fame) walked by just in time to take pictures of us utilizing said furniture. The others were rather thrilled with the capability of spitting off of their beds due to the change in habitations. We then wished a few passers-by a happy April Fools and commenced our journey to Sleepsville.
Tony: Sleeping outside is awesome. It was ridiculously loud (street cleaner, garbage truck, cleaning persons...) but awesome beyond belief. I woke up to a bird flying by my bed, can you say that's happened to you?
Dave: Tony's right, it was horribly loud, I thought the outdoors were peaceful? Fuckin' Arizona is hot at all times of the day, so I woke up around 6:30 (probably 15 minutes into my sleep) with my pillow entirely wet with sweat... pretty shitty. All in all it fuckin' rocked!
1, 2, pass out!
We woke up the next morning thrillingly refreshed by the gradual waking powers of sunrise and a surprising lack of bird dump. Dave: Any 2 hours of sleep with no bird d-hump, is one awesome nap! The best ever... We were also woken up by a rather disgruntled hall director, Becky(Dave: whore...). Greg was the first victim, being awoken by "Hello, hello, what are you doing?", to which he aptly replied, "I'm sleeping. What are you doing? Hit the road."
She then woke up Tony, who at first responded to the question by saying that someone must have moved us (we are heavy sleepers), then stated that we'd moved ourselves for April Fools, to which Becky replied, "Why would you do that? It's like April Fools on yourself."
"Yeah, that's why it's funny!" Tony chortled.
She was looking for materials with which to write us up, and after Tony inquired just what we were doing wrong, she said "You can't move university furniture into a sand pit."
After searching her bag for a few minutes, Becky informed us that she couldn't find her pen and thus couldn't write us up. She concluded that we had thirty minutes to move everything out before we were written up.
The next thirty minutes passed rather delightfully, with us relaxing in the warm sun and wishing others a good morning from the comfort of our beds. Responses can be put into three categories:
Appreciation: Some simply stopped and laughed, others went so far as to take pictures (especially Hannah). Good fellows, these.
Denial: Many first ignored us, then stopped and craned their necks hindward despite themselves. Among my favorites in this category was a prospective ASU student touring the honors complex with his parents. Each of the group took turns looking back.
Anger: Some people just can't properly respond to certain shades of awesome. These folks saw what we'd done and put on masks of disapproval in response, being too uptight to display proper amusement.
We eventually got out of bed and did our morning stretches, nodding and emitting the proper "mornin'"s at pedestrians. Tony was lucky enough to greet his Human Event professor, who was properly amused. The beds were eventually moved back into the room and that was the end of our fantastic April Fools escapades. The rest of that day was filled with receiving responses to our various prior actions, which were largely positive and recognizing of our awesomeness. -Ty