Quotes of the Day: Because context is for sissies.
Angie: Being dumb, that's okay. But being dumb and talking?
Professor Yann-Hang Lee (Giving advice on presentations): You can walk around and approach the audience. (I don't mean you should dance around, but if you do it, I wouldn't mind at all).
Greg (In a Tibetan monk style chant): Sometimes this thesis gives me a lalala boner...
Ty: Would you still love me if I liked countr-
Angie: Absolutely not.
[16:36] idreamidrive: do you want to be at a company with a lot of emplyes that don't even know eachother or a small company with a family type atmosphere
[16:37] Cheesehound 42: tons of people and tons of dollahs
[16:37] idreamidrive: lol
[16:37] idreamidrive: money isn't everything tyrus
[16:38] Cheesehound 42: say that to me in ten years when I'm sitting in my chair made of gold plated hookers.
Art (after Tony tells him of his engagement): Oh! You just pissed your dick to the wind!
Random little girl in Carpenteria: Look at my mommy! Look at my mommy!! LOOK AT MY MOMMY!!!
Angie (frightened): I see her, I see her!
Ty's mom: Is that a mountain?
Ty's dad: Nooo, those are clouds.
Ty's mom: No, no, it's connected to the ground.
Ty's dad:Oh. That's a mountain.
Subway Clerk: Will that be all? Do you want to make it a combo and get chips and a drink?
TJ: No, just a no profit sandwich please.
TJ: Why can't everyday be meatball day?!?!
Random guy at Denny's, when asked if he had any bacon: No way! If I had bacon, I would jihad this restaurant because it aggrevates me!
Brock: Why are my bacon and tomato outside my bread? Oh well, I'm not worried...I'll just send it home.
Shady-ass guy in the parking lot outside Eatza Pizza: Hey man, you like loans?
Ty: Ah, pooping. It's the shit.
Joel: I begged my parents for an Easy Bake oven but they got me Creepy Crawlers instead.
Tony, after discussing the meaning of the license plate KC7CTR with Ty and the Booch: Before I die, I want someone to give me the Kansas City seven seater.
Art, referring to Tony: We're going to break in his pussy.
Ty: I slept last night.
Tony: Really? What was it like? I don't remember. Tell me about it!
Ty: Yeah, five hours! I drooled on my pillow.
Tony: I'm staring not at the Mountain Dew, not at the keyboard, but riiight inbetween.
Ty: I have no manners (Neither Ty nor Tony can remember the context for this but it was golden)
Professor Yann-Hang Lee: When you golf you hit hard, then you think of killing yourself.
TJ, while smelling a wine bottle: ...let's just get krunky somewhere...
Ty's mom: I feel so great because I'm on pain pills. Wee!
Ty's dad: Gilmore Girls is on soon!
Tony: I'll finish one more section, study some CSE, shoot myself, and go to bed. Hopefully I'll bleed to death by morning.
It's funny because it's terrifying. We <3 finals!
Ty: They (the school) made my parents fill out a form saying I wasn't retarded once.
Tony: All roads lead to Rome, and Rome is disappointment!
(Dave, Art and Greg are standing in the kitchen as their neighbor Alex walks by.)
Art: Did we make enough food that Alex can come have a beer?
Art: I just tickled my prostate...
JP (intoxicated and just found a baseball glove with a ball in it): Come on Kyle...let's go outside and see if you can catch this without no hands...
(This phrase was then used at the end of almost every sentence for the remainder of that evening)
Zoe (Greg and Art's neighbor): I'm not gonna lie about it...sweaters make balls.
Ty: Well, I kind of caught myself and scrambled with my hands before letting my chin hit the ground.
Doctor: You didn't catch yourself good enough.
Tony: For enough money, I would not go to the bathroom.
Ty: My burrito juiced my shorts!
Mr. Hoffman: When you place the brick on top, these two blobs of mortar splooge out. You then scrap it away; this is called "tooling the joint".
Mallory: That was quick.
Marcy: Yeah, it didn't come out.
Greg: Yeah, Dave's about as Mexican as Taco Bell.
Becky: What happened?
Tony: Ty said "Fudd my Ruckers". It was funny.
Ann: Sometimes I forget to breathe, and I get lightheaded, and my heart starts to beat really fast. It happens like 8 times a day.
Dave: My long sexy hair is getting in my face, and tickling my nose.
Emily's mom: Art, your shirt's wrinkled!
(Art checks his shirt worriedly)
Art:That was my worst erection ever!
TJ: Greg, stop fondling your nuts.
Greg: This is a nice pocket.
Tony (muffled, after putting a teaspoon of sample orange toothpaste in his mouth): Aaw! Too much!
(Ty is running in circles around Tony and Greg as the three walk to Sahuaro)
Greg to Tony: I'm the proton, you're the neutron and Ty is the fuckin' electron.
While watching Family Feud - the question is what women have a hard time getting rid of
Some dumb broad: A house!
Greg: Apparently you have a hard time getting rid of being stupid.
John: Look, I'm a tuna! AAARRRG! (jumps into a volleyball net)
Ty (deep preaching tone, after showering): Every pore from high to low has been dealt a cleansing blow! I smelled so bad you thought I'd died, but here I stand, hygienified!
Art: I washed all of my boxers today, but I still don't think I'm gonna wear any.
Guest Quote of the Day by Minus 200: Criticism is like cough syrup. I hate taking it, but it's usually good for me. Also, no one takes cough syrup from strangers.
Una chica later ID'd as Lindsey to Ty: You are so incredibly attractive to me.
Ty: *Gives a two-finger salute*
Ian: Mom, I'm not even really paying attention to what you're saying so I'm gonna go. *hangs up*
Art(Singing to Arnold as the Terminator): Your penis is so huge... I looove you.
Greg: (Singing to the 'Anaconda' tune from Time Splitters 2) "Skeet, Skuh, Skeet, da-da-deet, Skeet, Skuh, Skeet, da-da-deet..."
Art: Oh...Where IS Dave?
Greg: Art, do you have any ties here at the dorms?
Art: Yeah, one.
Greg: What color is it?
Art: Pink... ("oh Art" laughter from us)... well, it's more of a fuschia.
-Ian (In the study room) Why's there so much water in here? Is somebody in the Bangin' Room or something?
-Tony (amidst a Sahuaro chunk down on Buffalo Wings): I wish there were a way to stick this whole thing in my mouth and pull out nothing but the bones... (Tony proceeds to deepthroat his wing, pulling out nothing but bones) That was the coolest thing I've ever done!!
-Ty (at Taco Bell): Hello, I'll have all of your burritos.
-Tony (on his 7 layer burrito): Four of these layers are beans!
(Greg, Tony, Dave and Art, watching "In The Cut", currently Meg Ryan is getting her ass eaten)
-Dave: (talking as Meg Ryan) It's Friday, I can't eat meat.
-Tony (from bed): So what exactly are we doing wrong?
-Hall Director Lady: You can't move university furniture into a sand pit
-Robot (Ty) to Ian: What the f***, man! Stop creaming my pants!
-Greg (to Robot): Do you wanna do that? That will be like twenty quarters!
Robot (Ty): Yeah, I'll do that. I'll be JANGLIN' with my JINGLES!
-Greg: Whoever hits X the most the fastest wins
-Tony: I just stuck a lion paw up your robot ass
-Ty: Joel, why aren't you spending your last hour here lying in the grass naked?
-Ian: Oh, fuck! AAAARRRHaaaaa
Ian did this for roughly five hours straight
-Tony: Being a minuteman is awesome!
Tony ensures us that this is a purely hypothetical statement
-Tony: Titties and gravy!
an adjective which rivals the cat's pajamas
-Tony: Brown thunder, go! ARRRRRGH!
-James: Today I was playing a game with myself, it's called Count The Pleated Skirts. I got to 46 just on Palm walk...
-John: I know! I feel like a walking boner.
- Tony to Art: (opens the Bangin' Room door) Dude I totally just caught you watching Teletubbies! You're so caught!