Lateness, ew!

I murdered my phone this weekend. Its sad frame flipped in entirely the wrong direction, rending wires incapable of their profession. One by one they fell to the cutting blades of chance and malice, leaving the phone incapable of much besides lighting its keypad and beeping in a tired mockery of its former self. Attempts at resurrection following the methods of Frankenstein produced a crippled beast capable of only half that of a mortal phone, and it howled and wailed in recognition of this hateful fact.

I ventured deep into the bowels of Verizon Wireless to undo my deeds, and from the abyssal dark I returned with a doppelganger of my victim before I had made it into an affront to natural telephony.

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If you have a spare half hour lying around, perhaps you should spend it playing nine holes in the stylishly trippy Golf?.

-Tyrus Peace